Redneck Medical Terms

Artery

The study of paintings

Bacteria

Back door to cafeteria

Barium

What doctors do when patients die

Benign

What you be after you be eight

Cesarean Section

A neighborhood in Rome

Catscan

Searching for Kitty

Cauterize

Made eye contact with her

Colic

A sheep dog

Coma

A punctuation mark

D&C

Where Washington is

Dilate

To live long

Enema

Not a friend

Fester

Quicker than someone else

Fibula

A small lie

Genital

Non-Jewish person

G.I.Series

World Series of military baseball

Hangnail

What you hang your coat on.

Impotent

Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain

Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff

A Doctor's cane.

Morbid

A higher offer than I bid

Nitrates

Cheaper than day rates.

Node

I knew it

Outpatient

A person who has fainted

Pap Smear

A fatherhood test

Pelvis

Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative

A letter carrier

Recovery Room

Place to do upholstery.

Rectum

Damn near killed him.

Secretion

Hiding something

Seizure

Roman emperor.

Tablet

A small table.

Terminal Illness

Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor

More than one.

Urine

Opposite of you're out

Varicose

Near by/close by

Vulva

Swedish automobile