Men are like:

• Men are like.....Place mats
  They only show up when there's food on the table.
• Men are like.....Mascara
  They usually run at the first sign of emotion
• Men are like.....Bike helmets
  Handy in emergencies, otherwise they just look silly
• Men are like.....Government bonds
  They take so long to mature
• Men are like.....Copiers
  You need them for reproduction, but that's about it
• Men are like.....Lava lamps
  Fun to look at, but not all that bright
• Men are like.....Bank accounts
  Without a lot of money, there's not much interest....
• Men are like.....High heels
  They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it
• Men are like.....Curling irons
  They're always hot, and they're always in your hair
• Men are like.....parking spots
  The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.
• Men are like.....Bananas
  The older they get, the less firm they are.
• Men are like.....chocolate bars
  Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
• Men are like.....coffee
  The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
• Men are like.....vacations
  They never seem to last long enough.
• Men are like.....computers
  Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
• Men are like.....coolers
  Load them with beer, and you can take them anywhere.
• Men are like.....horoscopes
  They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
• Men are like.....cement
  After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
• Men are like.....plungers
  They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
• Men are like.....laxatives
  They irritate the shit out of you.
• Men are like.....a snowstorm
  You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.