HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of InSaNiTy AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE

• Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)


• Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same Outfits.


• Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is Especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)


• Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing.


• For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'


• Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.


• Insist that your e-mail address be xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com


• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.


• Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.


• Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.


• Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.


• Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the >break room. When people complain that there was nothing their, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."


• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.


• Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."


• Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.


• Don't use any punctuation.


• At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.


• Sing along at the opera.


• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.