Three Guys And The Devil

Three guys found themselves in Hell. We'll call them Carl, Bob, and Brett. They were a little confused at their present situation, and as they walked along they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, toothless, cross-eyed, and missing her bottom lip. You could smell her even over the brimstone.

The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment.

This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7 feet tall, monstrous, bald, drooling, clubfooted, missing an eye on one side and an ear on the other, and covered in thick, black hair. Pus oozed out of a large sore on her belly. Flies circled.

The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off.

Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of... Cindy Crawford!?! It was a miracle!!! Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of Cindy, beautiful Cindy, Cindy barely dressed in a skimpy bikini.

Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying... "Cindy, you have sinned...."