Oxymoron Observations

Do these sayings really make sense?

  • Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
  • If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  • Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
  • Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
  • Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
  • Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
  • Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
  • Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
  • How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?
  • Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  • Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
  • Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
  • How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  • How is it possible to have a civil war?
  • If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
  • If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
  • If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
  • If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
  • If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  • Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
  • Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
  • If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
  • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  • If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?