One-Line Blonde Jokes

What do you call an eternity?
Four blondes at a four way stop.

Why do blondes have “TGIF” written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland.
After being in the car for 4 hours they finally saw a sign that said “Disneyland left,” so they turned around and went home.

What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, daddy. .. doughnut seeds.

How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She got run over by the Zamboni.

Why did the blonde stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can’t blondes dial 911?
They can’t find the eleven on the phone!

How do you get a blonde on the roof?
Tell her the drinks are on the house.

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde’s eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Why don’t blondes like making Kool-Aid?
Because they can’t fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Did you hear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see “Closed for the Winter”.

Why won’t they hire blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.

How do blonde brain cells die?
Alone.

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.

What did the blonde’s right leg say to the left leg?
Nothing. They’ve never met.

Why aren’t blondes good cattle herders?
Because they can’t even keep two calves together!

What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.

What did the blonde think of the new computer?
She didn’t like it because she couldn’t get channel 4.

How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s white-out on the screen.

How can you tell if another blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s writing on the white-out.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.