- You say “the city” and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.
- You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill.
- You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
- You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
- Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
- The subway makes sense.
- The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.
- You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
- You think $8.50 to cross a bridge is a fair price.
- You’ve considered stabbing someone just for saying “The Big Apple.”
- Your door has more than three locks.
- You go to a hockey game for the fighting….In the stands….To participate.
- Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.
- The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
- You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
- You call an 8′ x 10′ plot of patchy grass a yard.
- You complain about having to mow it.
- You are a skee-ball juggernaut.
- You consider Westchester “Upstate.” (Because it is, DUH!)
- You cried the day Michael Bloomberg took over for Giuliani.
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