Funny Marriage Quotes

The truth about marriage from these funny marriage quotes

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he married her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. Then it was too late.”

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received a hundred letters, which said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend. She replied, “A billionaire.”

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, “I’ve found a woman just like mother!” His father replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: “I had it all – money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman and then, POW! it was all gone!” “What happened?” asked his friend. “My wife found out…”