Human Resources Manager

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died.

Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

human resources manager“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me into heaven,” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have one day in Hell and one day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend your eternity in.”

“Actually I’ve made up my mind to spend my eternity in Heaven.”

“Sorry, but we have rules.”

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down – down – down into the gates of hell. They opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends – fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played a great round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an delicious steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up – up – up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

“Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he told her.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a wonderful experience and before she knew it her second 24 hours were up and St Peter came up to her for her decision.

“So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity.”

The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down – down – down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

“I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club, we had a gourmet dinner,  we danced all night and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at her, smiled and said, “Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re staff.”

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