Even time has no meaning at all to a lot of women shoppers. My wife left one morning on one of her now famous shopping expeditions announcing, “I’m going to do some shopping. I’ll be back in about $500.00 or so.”
Woman shopper trying on outfit to saleslady: “It looks too much like something I could afford.”
Woman shopping for wallpaper to clerk: “Now we’re getting somewhere. That’s the exact opposite of what I’m looking for.”
The department store salesman had almost completed his pitch to the woman to convince her to buy one of those miniature washing machines. She paused and considered it while watching it in action. Finally, she said, “Sir. I want my clothes agitated — not just irked.”
A new survey indicates that 46% of women would rather go shopping than have sex. Not surprising, really. I mean, after all, at the mall, their satisfaction is guaranteed.
I guess I never realized what a commercial-oriented age we live in until I heard this one lady shopper tell a grocery clerk, “I’m sorry. I just cannot remember the product name right now; perhaps if I hum a few bars of the commercial…”
Woman to greeting card clerk: “Do you have a get-well card that hints she’s not as sick as she wants everyone to think she is ?”
It’s not hard to tell when a salesperson has been pushed to just about the limits of their patience by a shopper. I heard one salesgirl tell her, “On the other hand, you really do anything for the dress either.”
I guess the butcher had finally had enough from this one shopper who had been more than a little fussy over the purchase of a single steak. I heard him say wearily, “Anything else you’d like to know: perhaps the cow’s name ?”
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