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- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
- I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless mails you send me until I return from holiday on April 4th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
- Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
- The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(Amazing how many people really do this)
- Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
- I’ve run away to join a different circus.
- I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Margaret’ instead of ‘Steve.’