Memorable Dear Abby Letter Excerpts

Dear Abby replies with her usual wit and wisdom.

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his.

I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.

I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

I joined the Navy to see the world. Now how do I get out?

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn’t and he finally did it.

My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Then you told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.

My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he’d like?
Carol

Never mind what he’d like. Give him a tie.

Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early?
Wondering

The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.

I know boys will be boys, but my ‘boy’ is seventy-three and he’s still chasing women. Any suggestions?
Annie

Don’t worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.

I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
Sam

Yes. Run for public office.

What inspires you most to write?
Ted

The Internal Revenue Service

I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits.
Rose

So would I.