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Quotes

20 funny quotes for the day

Have you ever noticed…. Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? –George Carlin You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the heck she is. –Ellen […]

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Quotes

Traffic cop quotes

“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” “The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.” “So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?” “The answer to this last question will determine […]

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Quotes

Funny quotes by women shoppers

Even time has no meaning at all to a lot of women shoppers. My wife left one morning on one of her now famous shopping expeditions announcing, “I’m going to do some shopping. I’ll be back in about $500.00 or so.” Woman shopper trying on outfit to saleslady: “It looks too much like something I […]