Cat Laws Of Physics

32 laws of phsics as applied to cats.

  1. Law of Cat Inertia:
    A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
  2. Law of Cat Motion:
    A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
  3. Law of Cat Magnetism:
    All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
  4. Law of Cat Thermodynamics:
    Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat.
  5. Law of Cat Stretching:
    A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
  6. Law of Cat Sleeping:
    All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
  7. Law of Cat Elongation:
    A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop, that has anything remotely interesting on it.
  8. Law of Cat Acceleration:
    A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
  9. Law of Dinner Table Attendance:
    Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
  10. Law of Rug Configuration:
    No rug may remain in its naturally flat state, for very long.
  11. Law of Obedience Resistance:
    A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.
  12. First Law of Energy Conservation:
    Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, t herefore, use as little energy as possible.
  13. Second Law of Energy Conservation:
    Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by a lot of napping.
  14. Law of Refrigerator Observation:
    If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
  15. Law of Electric Blanket Attraction:
    Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
  16. Law of Random Comfort Seeking:
    A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
  17. Law of Bag / Box Occupancy:
    All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
  18. Law of Cat Embarrassment:
    A cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
  19. Law of Milk Consumption:
    A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
  20. Law of Furniture Replacement:
    A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of t he furniture.
  21. Law of Cat Landing:
    A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
  22. Law of Fluid Displacement:
    A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
  23. Law of Cat Disinterest:
    A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
  24. Law of Pill Rejection:
    Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
  25. Law of Cat Composition:
    A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn’t Matter.
  26. Law of Selective Listening:
    Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she can’t hear a simple command three feet away.
  27. Law of Equidistant Separation:
    All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.
  28. Law of Cat Invisibility:
    Cats think that if they can’t see you, then you can’t see them.
  29. Law of Space-Time Continuum:
    Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.
  30. Law of Concentration of Mass:
    A cat’s mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies.
  31. Law of Cat Probability (Cat’s Uncertainty Principle):
    It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where she “might” be.
  32. Law of Cat Obedience:
    As yet undiscovered.