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Jokes

Ant And Grasshopper

Original Version

The ant works hard in the scorching heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Modern American Version

sweating antThe ant works hard in the scorching heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

The major media broadcasters show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

Americans are stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Then a representative of the NAGB (The National Association of Green Bugs) tweets charging the ant with green bias, and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism.

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings “It’s not easy being green.”

Obama makes a special guest appearance on the evening news channels saying he will do everything he can for the grasshopper, who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Bush summers.

Harry Reid makes posts across all the social channels that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.”

Finally, the EEOC drafts the “Economic Equity and anti-Bernanke Act,” retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal hearing officers that Obama appointed from a list of single-parent welfare mothers, who can only hear cases on Thursday’s between 1:30 and 3 PM.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he’s in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him since he doesn’t know how to maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

And in the media, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant’s food, they are showing Obama standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing that a new era of “fairness” has dawned in America.