Guess The Subject

what are you thinking?

From these 20 comments can you
guess what is this man is doing?

1. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it.

2. He came at his blind side and got him from behind.

3. He’s off to the sidelines for a quick blow.

4. It’s a game of inches.

5. That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it.

6. When you get down in this area, you just gotta start pounding.

7. He’s gonna feel that one tomorrow.

8. He found his tight end.

9. End around.

10. He had to stretch to get it in.

11. He gets penetration in the backfield.

12. He blows them off (at the line).

13. He bangs it in.

14. He could go all the way.

15. He gets it off just in time.

16. He goes deep.

17. He found a hole and slid through it.

18. He pounds it in.

19. He beats them off (the line).

20. He’s got great hands.

 

Playing football, of course.

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Coffee Addiction

coffee addict

You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When:

  • Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
  • You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  • You sleep with your eyes open.
  • You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
  • You lick your coffeepot clean.
  • Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
  • You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
  • You can jump-start your car without cables.
  • Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
  • You don’t sweat, you percolate.
  • You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.
  • You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
  • You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table.
  • The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
  • Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
  • You’re so wired you pick up FM radio.
  • Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans.”
  • Instant coffee takes too long.
  • You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
  • You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”
  • Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
  • Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Secrets of Driver’s License

failing grade

A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, “Mommy, How old are you?”

The mother responded, “Honey, women don’t talk about their age. You’ll learn this as you get older.”

The girl then asked, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?”

Her mother responded again, “That’s another thing women don’t talk about. You’ll learn this, too, as you grow up.”

The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, “Mommy, Why did you and daddy get a divorce?”

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, “Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don’t want to talk about it now.”

The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend’s house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her and her mother’s conversation.

The girlfriend says, “All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother’s driver’s license. It’s just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything.”

Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, “Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You’re 32 years old.”

The mother is very shocked. She asks, “Sweetheart, how do you know that?”

The little girl shrugs and says, “I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds.”

“Where did you learn that?”

The little girl says, “I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an F in sex.”

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail