Cow Riddles

cow riddles

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.

Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: What do you call an evil cow?
A: De-mooooon.

Q: What did the cow say to the cow tipping rednecks?
A: Don’t moooove a muscle.

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: Lawn moo-er.

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

Q: What do you call animal drinking with Justin Timberlake?
A: TEA COW!

Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.

Q: “Where did the cows go last night”?
A: “To the mooon”

Q: What do you call a cow with an assistant?
A: Moooooving up in the world.

Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?
A: Peanut butter.

Q: What are a cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Q: Where do you find the most cows?
A: Moo-York

Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

Q: How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A: Wait til one busts a moooooove.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that died with a bow and arrow in her hand?
A: She hit the bull’s eye.

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Their horns don’t work.

Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: What Is A Cows Favorite Type Of Math?
A: Moo-tiplication

Q: Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: To the moo-vies!

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Q: What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
A: “It’s just an udder day”

Q: How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
A: With a Cowculator

Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Q: What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat

Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Q: Why are cows so soft?
A: Because they are made out of leather.

Q: What do cows wear in Hawaii?
A: Moo- moos

Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Q: Where do cows get their weapons?
A: Ar-moooo-ries.

Q: Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
A: Because her horn didn’t work

Q: Did you hear that NASA recently launched a bunch of Holsteins into low Earth orbit?
A: They called it the Herd Shot ‘Round The World!

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Q: What did the cow say when a person played the piano?
A: That’s good moooooosic.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Q: Where do cows get together?
A: The meet market.

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: A lawn moo-er.

Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Q: What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A: A steak-out!

Q: What do you call a cow with no front legs?
A: Lean Beef

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moody Blues

Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

Q: Why did cow jump over the moon?
A: Because he wanted to skydive

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows have horns.

Q: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
A: In the cow-boose.

Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Q: How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
A: It’s a place of udder delight.

Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow into pasture.

Q: What do you get when you cross and smurf and a cow?
A: Blue cheese!

Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

Q: Why does the cow bring toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he is a party pooper.

Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.

Q: What do you call I half a cow?
A: A calf.

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

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Catholic Women

handsome man

Four Catholic women were having coffee one afternoon, bragging to one another about their successful sons.

The first woman tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

The second of the Catholic women chirps in, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him ‘Your Grace’.”

The third woman says, “My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he’s called ‘Your Eminence’.”

Since the fourth woman just sips her coffee in silence, the first three Catholic women give her this subtle, “Well…?” sort of look.

“My son is 6’2″ has broad square shoulders is terribly handsome and dresses exceptionally well. Whenever he walks into a room, women just say ‘Oh, my God’.”

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