Parrot And Ugly Lady

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!”

parrot-ladyThe lady was furious and continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said, “Hey lady!¬†You’re really ugly!”

She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and said she would sue the store and kill the bird.

The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn’t say it again.

The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot.

The parrot said, “Hey, lady!”


“You know.”


Physical Exercise Alternatives

Physical exercise is good for you.

I know that I should do it daily, but my body doesn’t want me to do too much, so I have worked out this program of 25 strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise.

You are invited to use my program without charge.

  1. Beating around the bush
  2. Jumping to conclusionsexercises
  3. Climbing a wall of worry
  4. Parading my pride
  5. Passing the buck
  6. Throwing my weight around
  7. Dragging my heels
  8. Pushing my luck
  9. Making mountains out of molehills
  10. Hitting the nail on the head
  11. Wading through paperwork
  12. Bending over backwards
  13. Jumping on the bandwagon
  14. Balancing the books
  15. Running around in circles
  16. Crunching numbers
  17. Tooting my own horn
  18. Climbing the ladder of success
  19. Pulling out the stops
  20. Setting the world on fire
  21. Opening a can of worms
  22. Putting my foot in my mouth
  23. Starting the ball rolling
  24. Going over the edge
  25. Picking up the pieces

Whew! What a workout! I think I’ll exercise my caution now and sit down.